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The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families

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Candid, compassionate, authoritative--a rich source of insights, information, and practical guidance. "The first major work on the topic." --Gay Community News "A much needed comprehensive study of what happens to husbands, wives, and children during the coming-out crisis. --The Reverend Jane E. Vennard, founder Task Force for Spouses of Gays and Lesbians "The new enlarged Candid, compassionate, authoritative--a rich source of insights, information, and practical guidance. "The first major work on the topic." --Gay Community News "A much needed comprehensive study of what happens to husbands, wives, and children during the coming-out crisis. --The Reverend Jane E. Vennard, founder Task Force for Spouses of Gays and Lesbians "The new enlarged edition adds important factors, especially children's reactions to a parent's coming out. Well-researched and insightful." --Fritz Klein, M.D., author of The Bisexual Option "Anybody practicing in this area would be well advised to read this book." --Professor Arthur S. Leonard, New York Law School In two million marriages, one spouse is gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Having a spouse or parent disclose his or her same-sex attraction is a shattering experience fraught with pain, confusion, anger, and a profound loss of self-esteem. Amity Pierce Buxton spotlights this exploding phenomenon and reports constructive coping strategies that spouses and children have used to resolve problems of sexual damage, family breakdown, deception, and homophobia. Illustrated throughout by riveting personal narratives, this expanded edition of The Other Side of the Closet traces the family's journey from initial trauma to eventual transformation. This invaluable source of information for spouses, families, and professionals is based on Dr. Buxton's eight years of research, including interviews with 1,000 straight spouses and children, her own personal experience, and her counseling work with spouses of gay, lesbian, and bisexual partners.


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Candid, compassionate, authoritative--a rich source of insights, information, and practical guidance. "The first major work on the topic." --Gay Community News "A much needed comprehensive study of what happens to husbands, wives, and children during the coming-out crisis. --The Reverend Jane E. Vennard, founder Task Force for Spouses of Gays and Lesbians "The new enlarged Candid, compassionate, authoritative--a rich source of insights, information, and practical guidance. "The first major work on the topic." --Gay Community News "A much needed comprehensive study of what happens to husbands, wives, and children during the coming-out crisis. --The Reverend Jane E. Vennard, founder Task Force for Spouses of Gays and Lesbians "The new enlarged edition adds important factors, especially children's reactions to a parent's coming out. Well-researched and insightful." --Fritz Klein, M.D., author of The Bisexual Option "Anybody practicing in this area would be well advised to read this book." --Professor Arthur S. Leonard, New York Law School In two million marriages, one spouse is gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Having a spouse or parent disclose his or her same-sex attraction is a shattering experience fraught with pain, confusion, anger, and a profound loss of self-esteem. Amity Pierce Buxton spotlights this exploding phenomenon and reports constructive coping strategies that spouses and children have used to resolve problems of sexual damage, family breakdown, deception, and homophobia. Illustrated throughout by riveting personal narratives, this expanded edition of The Other Side of the Closet traces the family's journey from initial trauma to eventual transformation. This invaluable source of information for spouses, families, and professionals is based on Dr. Buxton's eight years of research, including interviews with 1,000 straight spouses and children, her own personal experience, and her counseling work with spouses of gay, lesbian, and bisexual partners.

30 review for The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families

  1. 4 out of 5

    Ashley

    I read this book after my husband came out to me. It was a wonderful resource. For anyone who has been in this situation you know how hard it is. This is a very well written book and helped me out when I needed it. If you have a spouse or parent who has come out, you really should read this book. You are NOT alone in this!

  2. 5 out of 5

    April

    I picked this book up in order to do some research for my upcoming novel and it was...interesting. The advice was helpful, definitely. But the personal stories they chose to include, in my opinion, painted spouses coming out in a very harsh and negative light. Th men and women in these stories very often had other things happening with them that could not rest solely on the shoulders of discovering (or finally revealing) their true sexuality. (For instance, there were several wives that seemed b I picked this book up in order to do some research for my upcoming novel and it was...interesting. The advice was helpful, definitely. But the personal stories they chose to include, in my opinion, painted spouses coming out in a very harsh and negative light. Th men and women in these stories very often had other things happening with them that could not rest solely on the shoulders of discovering (or finally revealing) their true sexuality. (For instance, there were several wives that seemed brainwashed into thinking they had nothing to offer the world and couldn't even get a job--for a spouse to do this to them has no bearing on being gay. That is something else entirely at work in their brains.) My suggestion: Skip the personal stories; read the advice.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Alan Vonlanthen

    Fantastic insight into the coming-out crisis of married people, as experienced by the straight spouse and the children. Most stories are truly moving and give a pretty good idea, collectively, of the range of emotions one is subjected to in such cases. On the other hand, the context of the book is totally outdated (which is definitely a good thing as it shows the tremendous progress achieved over the past 20 years!)

  4. 4 out of 5

    Andrew Hartley

    I would love an updated version of this book. It's helpful, but a little dated. I would love an updated version of this book. It's helpful, but a little dated.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Carmen

    Having met AmityBuxton at a retreat in Sedona this year, and coming out to my folks and letting them know that my husband was gay they ordered her book for me to read. It has been a Godsend and a life saver. At last someone who knows how I feel. Although there is still so much for me to work on, this is a great tool to help you through your journey to the discovery of self and finally learning to make your dreams come true. . Thank you Amity!

  6. 5 out of 5

    Debbie

    this book saved my life

  7. 4 out of 5

    Peter Wyro

    It's a decent entry into a topic without much information. It's a decent entry into a topic without much information.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Christopher Head

  9. 5 out of 5

    Jackie

  10. 4 out of 5

    Arthur G

  11. 5 out of 5

    Bob

  12. 4 out of 5

    Gerry

  13. 5 out of 5

    Nicole

  14. 5 out of 5

    Kim Caldwell

  15. 5 out of 5

    Lyla

  16. 5 out of 5

    Julie

  17. 4 out of 5

    Wendy

  18. 4 out of 5

    Kevin

  19. 5 out of 5

    Tina

  20. 5 out of 5

    Clarissa

  21. 5 out of 5

    Eva Hall

  22. 4 out of 5

    Kristianna

  23. 5 out of 5

    carlina

  24. 4 out of 5

    jessica moreno

  25. 5 out of 5

    Patricia

  26. 5 out of 5

    Domenic J Silvestro III

  27. 4 out of 5

    Sara Beth

  28. 4 out of 5

    Shelley0821

  29. 5 out of 5

    Adir

  30. 5 out of 5

    Rosie Hopkins

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