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Men In Love

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This is a book about men who love women. But it is not a collection of love stories. It is a study of the secret, erotic fantasies that men have always kept hidden, a taboo-shattering investigation that reveals the deepest, most conflicting feelings that men have about women, men and their own sexuality. Men in Love goes beyond the socio-sexual cliché of woman seen as eithe This is a book about men who love women. But it is not a collection of love stories. It is a study of the secret, erotic fantasies that men have always kept hidden, a taboo-shattering investigation that reveals the deepest, most conflicting feelings that men have about women, men and their own sexuality. Men in Love goes beyond the socio-sexual cliché of woman seen as either madonna or whore to reveal the conflict of love and rage at the centre of men's emotions and erotic desires. Based on thousands of candid responses from men ranging from their teens to their sixties, Men in Love - startling and shocking - will change men's deepest feelings about their sexuality and make the women who care about them understand them as never before.


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This is a book about men who love women. But it is not a collection of love stories. It is a study of the secret, erotic fantasies that men have always kept hidden, a taboo-shattering investigation that reveals the deepest, most conflicting feelings that men have about women, men and their own sexuality. Men in Love goes beyond the socio-sexual cliché of woman seen as eithe This is a book about men who love women. But it is not a collection of love stories. It is a study of the secret, erotic fantasies that men have always kept hidden, a taboo-shattering investigation that reveals the deepest, most conflicting feelings that men have about women, men and their own sexuality. Men in Love goes beyond the socio-sexual cliché of woman seen as either madonna or whore to reveal the conflict of love and rage at the centre of men's emotions and erotic desires. Based on thousands of candid responses from men ranging from their teens to their sixties, Men in Love - startling and shocking - will change men's deepest feelings about their sexuality and make the women who care about them understand them as never before.

30 review for Men In Love

  1. 5 out of 5

    Steelwhisper

    Friday is pretty much unsufferable and I'd cheerfully string her up and apply a cane to her for making such idiotic assumptions about women, and engaging in quite some downtalking to men. The 4* are exclusively for the guys who shared their innermost sexual selves freely. This was an interesting insight into the psyche of the American male. My advice: skip most everything written by Friday and stick to what the men write. ETA: I reread a couple of letters this morning, and have to say that it quite Friday is pretty much unsufferable and I'd cheerfully string her up and apply a cane to her for making such idiotic assumptions about women, and engaging in quite some downtalking to men. The 4* are exclusively for the guys who shared their innermost sexual selves freely. This was an interesting insight into the psyche of the American male. My advice: skip most everything written by Friday and stick to what the men write. ETA: I reread a couple of letters this morning, and have to say that it quite astonishes me (and very much dates this book) that Friday didn't even think of calling out against the actual rape described in some of them. Or was so blithely accepting of men describing an abundance of cheating behaviour. Insofar it indeed is a time capsule to the sexual behaviour of American males.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Sharon

    Some of the fantasies were quite intresting and could get me worked up, there were definatly some that quite frankly scared the hell out of me. Not for those who aren't broad minded. Some of the fantasies were quite intresting and could get me worked up, there were definatly some that quite frankly scared the hell out of me. Not for those who aren't broad minded.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Erin

    nominally nonfiction, bad erotica masquerading as pseudo-psychology - if reading letters by men who fantasize about having sex with their mothers and sisters is your thing, then this is the book for you -- ps if you want to read erotica, read erotica - don't get your jollies from crappy psycho-social "insights" nominally nonfiction, bad erotica masquerading as pseudo-psychology - if reading letters by men who fantasize about having sex with their mothers and sisters is your thing, then this is the book for you -- ps if you want to read erotica, read erotica - don't get your jollies from crappy psycho-social "insights"

  4. 4 out of 5

    Suzanne Portnoy

    Having read Nancy Friday's MY SECRET GARDEN year's ago, I was keen to see how this study of male sexual fantasies compared. Well, firstly, it's a completely different type of books simply because upon reading it, I realised how different men and women think about sex. Now you'd think that being an erotic author, I'd know this and mainly I do, but this book still came as a revelation. Sure, some of the stories now seem a bit dated but nevertheless, the overall feeling one gets is that there are s Having read Nancy Friday's MY SECRET GARDEN year's ago, I was keen to see how this study of male sexual fantasies compared. Well, firstly, it's a completely different type of books simply because upon reading it, I realised how different men and women think about sex. Now you'd think that being an erotic author, I'd know this and mainly I do, but this book still came as a revelation. Sure, some of the stories now seem a bit dated but nevertheless, the overall feeling one gets is that there are so many men trapped in deeply unsexually satisfying relationships. The overriding feeling I came away with was one of terrible repression and unfulfilled desires. I go back to this book time and time again, not to turn me on, but to give me a deeper understanding of male sexuality. It really is a fascinating read.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Sue

    I found this fascinating, even though some of the fantasies disturbed or frightened me. Very eye-opening.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Sophia

    Nancy Friday, better known for her writings on female sexual fantasies, turns her attention to the opposite sex in Men in Love. A notice in her last book garnered about three thousand responses from American men, of which about two hundred are included in this volume. Written in 1980, the language may be a bit dated, but not the subject matter. Rather than merely an unfiltered compilation of letters detailing male sexual fantasies, Friday synthesizes them around a given theme--say, oral sex or s Nancy Friday, better known for her writings on female sexual fantasies, turns her attention to the opposite sex in Men in Love. A notice in her last book garnered about three thousand responses from American men, of which about two hundred are included in this volume. Written in 1980, the language may be a bit dated, but not the subject matter. Rather than merely an unfiltered compilation of letters detailing male sexual fantasies, Friday synthesizes them around a given theme--say, oral sex or sadomasochism--into an explanation of how they arise and what they signify. Her approach is heavily psychoanalytic, relying on the primal conflicts the young boy faces in early life with mother and father for its explanatory power. One always wonders if the letters printed were selected to fit her theory, or the latter arose to describe the data. Whether you agree with her methodology or thesis--fantasies are triumph of love over rage--Men in Love is engaging, eye-opening reading, and not only for its sexual content.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Christy Stewart

    This is nothing less than an anthology of sexual baggage and my hat is off to the men who wrote in with such honesty and courage. Friday mentions in the introduction that she has digested sexual taboos from women as empowering and progressive but when faced with the same taboos in men's fantasies she was scandalized and disgusted. To me, her realization of that is the real lesson of this study. This is nothing less than an anthology of sexual baggage and my hat is off to the men who wrote in with such honesty and courage. Friday mentions in the introduction that she has digested sexual taboos from women as empowering and progressive but when faced with the same taboos in men's fantasies she was scandalized and disgusted. To me, her realization of that is the real lesson of this study.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Dinah

    Many more holistic views of the woman (rather than assemblage of hot body parts) and scenarios (more than just "she's my secretary/boss" level of setup of the scene) as key parts of fantasies than I'd expected from past things I'd read about men's relationship to porn. I'd love to see a collection of fantasies similar to this and My Secret Garden done today with the internet having changed so much in our awareness of the diversity of fantasy life. Many more holistic views of the woman (rather than assemblage of hot body parts) and scenarios (more than just "she's my secretary/boss" level of setup of the scene) as key parts of fantasies than I'd expected from past things I'd read about men's relationship to porn. I'd love to see a collection of fantasies similar to this and My Secret Garden done today with the internet having changed so much in our awareness of the diversity of fantasy life.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Michelle

    I made it about halfway through this and couldn't take anymore. The "ick" factor is high, and while I consider myself to be fairly open-minded, there are some really deviant, distasteful and downright disturbing fantasies in this book. I might have been able to finish it if it were around 200 pages, but at 472 pages, it just becomes tiresome and gross, regardless of the psychobabble explanations on the side. I made it about halfway through this and couldn't take anymore. The "ick" factor is high, and while I consider myself to be fairly open-minded, there are some really deviant, distasteful and downright disturbing fantasies in this book. I might have been able to finish it if it were around 200 pages, but at 472 pages, it just becomes tiresome and gross, regardless of the psychobabble explanations on the side.

  10. 4 out of 5

    The Scarlet Pervygirl

    It probably says something terrible about me that I find the men's sex fantasies in *Men in Love* much more offensive and about six times more arousing than the women's sex fantasies in *My Secret Garden.* It probably says something terrible about me that I find the men's sex fantasies in *Men in Love* much more offensive and about six times more arousing than the women's sex fantasies in *My Secret Garden.*

  11. 5 out of 5

    Kerilynn Pederson

    startling and fascinating, like reading educational pornography

  12. 4 out of 5

    Annabelle

    Men in Love is a collection of real-life men's fantasies. This is a fascinating (and very odd) window into the male sexual mind. A great read! Men in Love is a collection of real-life men's fantasies. This is a fascinating (and very odd) window into the male sexual mind. A great read!

  13. 4 out of 5

    Paula ross

    Men are very strange creatures

  14. 5 out of 5

    Kate Aaron

    I think the idea for these books is fantastic, and the fantasies themselves eternally fascinating, but Friday's ham-fisted brand of psychology drives me up the wall! I think the idea for these books is fantastic, and the fantasies themselves eternally fascinating, but Friday's ham-fisted brand of psychology drives me up the wall!

  15. 5 out of 5

    Reinis

    It is both angering and liberating to figure that almost everything in the super subjective world of fantasies boils down to our Oedipal fears and our very early trauma/encounters with our parents. I'd give 3* for the content, but I increased to 4* because, like Nancy, I am a believer in a better future where both sexes can work together rather than in opposition, and this book - at least to me - proves that the men in this world have the necessary rudimentary contoure in their psyche to move in It is both angering and liberating to figure that almost everything in the super subjective world of fantasies boils down to our Oedipal fears and our very early trauma/encounters with our parents. I'd give 3* for the content, but I increased to 4* because, like Nancy, I am a believer in a better future where both sexes can work together rather than in opposition, and this book - at least to me - proves that the men in this world have the necessary rudimentary contoure in their psyche to move in that direction.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Yinzadi

    Read online here. Content warnings for this book include: -Tons of explicit sexual content. -Explicit fantasy rape and sexual assault (M/F, F/M, M/M). -Real-life child molestation and explicit real-life sexual content involving minors. -Explicit real-life incest. -Explicit real-life bestiality. -Adult men being sexually attracted to and having sexual fantasies about girls below the age of majority, including pubescent girls. -Men viewing lesbians & F/F sex in a way that could be taken as fetishizing. -Co Read online here. Content warnings for this book include: -Tons of explicit sexual content. -Explicit fantasy rape and sexual assault (M/F, F/M, M/M). -Real-life child molestation and explicit real-life sexual content involving minors. -Explicit real-life incest. -Explicit real-life bestiality. -Adult men being sexually attracted to and having sexual fantasies about girls below the age of majority, including pubescent girls. -Men viewing lesbians & F/F sex in a way that could be taken as fetishizing. -Constant use of the C-word (though used to describe the vulva, not as an epithet for women) among a few other vulgarities. -A lot of influence from Freud's deeply disturbed worldview. -Explanations for homosexuality that nowadays would be considered homophobic. -Female erasure in the discussions of transgenderism. -Real-life infidelity. -As would be supposed, kinky fantasies of a variety of types in the chapter on BDSM. -A heavy rape fantasy involving degradation and scat play with ingestion in the gay chapter. The book was not as horrific as reading de Sade or somesuch, and far less dark than what's considered "dark" in fanfiction (because these fantasies are just not psychologically creative), but nevertheless, this book is not for the faint of heart, not for anyone who has past sexual traumas that may be triggered by rape fantasies or descriptions of real events of child sexual abuse, and definitely not for anyone who values being innocent of sexual knowledge. Ms. Friday's worldview is heavily colored by Freudian psychoanalysis, and Freud can die in a fire as far as I'm concerned, so I was often dubious and critical of her analyses, most of which stemmed from the following idea: boys want to have sex with their mothers, and view their father as a sexual rival who they're afraid will castrate them. If the Freudian psychological explanations she puts forth in this book are true, then the conjugal system, with the father living with the family, is insanely destructive to boys' & young men's psychological health. However, there were some interesting psychological insights mixed in among the BS, enough to have made it worth reading. Her main premise is that men have this deep rage & resentment towards women for the women not being sexually attracted to them, for denying them sex, and for telling them No, controlling (both dictating & limiting) their lives, and not giving them permission to do the things they want to do. According to her, this starts with a man's mother in infancy & boyhood, including her not being sexually attracted to him and not wanting to have sex with him. She points out that a major underlying pattern in these fantasies she's collected is the wish-fulfilling opposite of all these resentments: women who want to see & touch, etc., the man's penis, who love sex in general and love sex with him, who lose their inhibitions and become as animalistically sexual as the man is, and who give their permission & (often eager) approval for all the things he wants to do, or happen to have all his desires themselves so he doesn't even have to express them himself in the fantasy. To me, this is not necessarily, at all, a sign of all these psychological resentments she posits - this is just men enjoying when sex is enthusiastically consensual and when sex is pleasurable for the woman as well as the man, which is an entirely healthy way to feel. Men liking consensual, ecstatic sex doesn't have to be distorted into all this underlying "rage" stuff. Quite the opposite of feeling there was anything angry or resentful towards women in (almost all of) these fantasies, it was surprising and wonderful to me to see that, at least in this sampling, men's sexual fantasies are very very focused on women's enthusiastic consent and on women deriving maximum pleasure from sex, literally as much pleasure as the man can imagine. Ms. Friday said she got very few rape fantasies among her submissions, though I think her definition of what constitutes a rape fantasy may be significantly narrower than mine because she said she got only 3, and I counted several more than that in the book. Even these fantasies, in a twisted way, were usually still focused on the woman's consent and pleasure. They were less like "I will take my pleasure on this woman whether she likes it or not, disgusting weak woman, I am so superior, fear my power" and more like "I will force this woman to agree to have sex with me, and I will force her to like it, because she is too inhibited to be able to say Yes to what she wants and to know what she will like." I was struck by the total lack of disrespect towards women in the lion's share of these fantasies. Except for the chapter on virgin adolescent boys & young men, there is almost no Madonna/whore complex going on. There is almost no using sex as a power trip of "conquering" the woman. In almost all the fantasies, the men don't seem to view sex as degrading or tainting to the women. They don't try to make the women submit to them. They don't fantasize of only using the women for their own sexual pleasure. Words like "slut," "whore," and "bitch" never occur (with one exception, in a rape fantasy). The men are not repulsed by women's bodies, genitalia (or even anuses), pubic hair, effluvia, or uninhibited sexual desire or pleasure - quite the opposite. While I did not like the sex itself, the attitudes towards women were surprisingly adoring and sympathetic; it was almost therapeutic to read after the scads of misogynistic men's thought I've had the displeasure of encountering online. It is shocking to me how many of the men contributing, had sex in childhood or early adolescence - with adults or older adolescents as well as with other children, and not uncommonly with family members. Many of them described masturbating and having sexual fantasies before puberty. Many also described looking at & thinking about female family members in a sexual way, and masturbating to thoughts of them. Surely these things are non-typical of people's experiences growing up? It was also disturbing and bewildering to me how the cases of child molestation, and of children having sexual fantasies and having sex with each other, just seemed to be passively accepted by Ms. Friday, and also treated as normal by the men themselves who recounted these experiences. Words like "rape," "molestation," "assault," and "abuse" were never used by anyone in connection with the sexual experiences the men had before the age of majority. The men & Ms. Friday are also really weirdly blase about bestiality. She is even sympathetic to men who admit (if such a word can be used when apparently the man feels no shame) to regularly raping farm animals in their adolescence, mostly cattle (including calves), and - here's the kicker - she says that most people feel sympathetic towards such behavior. Another man is almost insulted that his wife won't allow him to make their dog have sex with her. Did I snatch this book out of an alternate universe without realizing it? Or is the average person significantly more depraved than I realize? The amount of real-life infidelity among the men sharing these fantasies, and the casualness with which it was mentioned, was insane. Ms. Friday seems to just passively accept this and doesn't comment on it. I laughed out loud when she said that women are repulsed by M/M, because (she says) a woman is threatened by the idea that a man could want to be with another man rather than with her. Considering that AO3 has twice as many M/M stories as M/F stories, and fanfiction is almost exclusively written by women, that sure has changed. Though - slash was definitely a thing by the 1980's; I guess Ms. Friday just wasn't aware of it. Her view is that homosexuality is the result of a boy denying to himself that he wants to have sex with his mother, either out of shame or because his mother is "pure," and also fearing being harmed (especially castrated) by his father, an impossible rival, for wanting to have sex with his mother. So, instead, he simultaneously denies to himself that he wants to have sex with women, and "makes good" with his father by becoming attracted to him instead (if you can't beat 'em, join 'em), worshipping the penis he is afraid his father will take from him. Yeah. It's a weird world when the therapists are far more disturbed than their patients. Ms. Friday is clearly not into BDSM at all. Her explanations of the psychology of kinky practices were so bizarre at some points they were hard for me to wrap my head around. For people in the scene, that chapter may be worth reading in order to try to comprehend the perspective from which uneducated healthcare providers may be coming when interacting with patients who do kink. My asexuality is going to be showing here, but I didn't expect the fantasies in this book to be so...sexual. I expected the variations to be about different psychological elements, but the variations were more like: women having sex with women, having sex with two women, having sex with a man and a woman, wife swapping, having sex with a family member, having sex with a man, having sex with an animal, a woman having sex with an animal. With extremely few exceptions, it was all just straight-up sex. Besides expecting fantasies that focused on different psychological elements, I also expected there to be a lot about exploring relationship dynamics in the fantasies, but it was almost entirely just about wanting to do the physical act itself, or remembering doing it. Most of the fantasies were between vaguely and actively repulsive to me to read, and they were all so...mechanical. Un-psychological. Apparently men just like sex for the act itself, and want women to like sex for the act itself. It doesn't have to be about exploring their own or their partner's (or anyone else's) psychology, or their own (or anyone else's) relationship dynamic in any way, or about communicating with their partner (or other people communicating with each other) through physical intimacy at all. It just has to be about enjoying genital stimulation. The men in this book seem to get turned on just by imagining people they want to have sex with for no other reason than because they're physically attractive, and just by imagining genital stimulation (almost always directly involving themselves). Almost always they want to do in real life what they imagine. To me, it seems very primitive and vulgar, self-absorbed, even narcissistic. Thinking about doing sex acts with people is just not a mental world I live in, and this book made me grateful for it - but it was interesting that many men's minds are so consumed by such simple, uninsightful, nonproductive behaviors. Like a hamster in a hamster wheel: running the same track over and over, getting nowhere. In many places they really came across as addicts. The only even vaguely psychological fantasies were in the chapters on incest, crossdressing, breast & vulva envy, and BDSM (she also lumps fetishes, roleplay, and rape fantasies into this category). I couldn't have known this except after the fact, but in all the other chapters I could have just read Ms. Friday's commentary and skipped the fantasies themselves, and gotten the same amount of psychological insight out of the book - and saved myself a fair amount of time and disgust. Other people who are also reading this book for the psychological insights, for whom it does nothing to read 200 times about Peg A going into Hole B, may want to consider this approach. You learn absolutely nothing about the personalities of any of the women & girls (& occasionally men) involved in any of these fantasies: they are just hot bodies who do the sex acts the man wants to do and (usually) like it. Even when the men are fantasizing about their own wives: nothing, flatline, I was always left absolutely blank on anything beyond her appearance. Every single time, the only real person in these fantasies is the man himself. It's like each one of them, in his own mind, is God, and specifically God before He got bored and invented free will. Are other people - especially women - really real to these men? The title is wrong. There is no love in this book. If I thought this was what love looks like, I'd want to stab myself in the face. Love requires another person, and these men's mental landscapes are populated by no one but themselves and their marionettes. The title should be Men in Lust: The Triumph of Perversion Over Personhood. Far from the "rage" towards women and the maternal resentments & incestuous desires Ms. Friday posits, the book reaffirms my belief that most men have profound desires to be chosen & wanted by women, and to please women. However, given the total lack of individuality of anyone in these fantasies beyond the men themselves, it could also be argued that the men in this book value pleasing women only superficially: only as long as the women are their automata, existing only on the man's terms and not their own, doing exactly what he wants and liking it. No man in this book says, "My wife likes this, so I often fantasize about it because I love how much pleasure it brings her," while very many men say, "I wish my wife would like this" or "I wish my wife would do this." I wonder if for some of these men, in real life, this extends to how they view consent: it would be consensual if she would just say Yes, it would be so beautifully enthusiastically consensual if she would just consent enthusiastically, but she won't so it's her fault it's got to be like this. After I was able to put my finger on what was wrong with all of these pictures, the universal lack of seeing any of the women & girls in these fantasies as individuals, as real people, really got to creeping me out. I wish I could remember who said this, but this book also affirms one of the first things I read when I discovered radical feminism, which was "We will never fuck our way out of the patriarchy." Sexually "liberated" women are not taking their power away from men and back into their own hands; they are giving men exactly what they most want. Patriarchal men have controlled women's sexual behavior not because they don't want women having sex with them, but because the keystone of patriarchy is men controlling women's reproduction, and until recently those things were essentially one and the same (also why patriarchal men have historically barely even noticed lesbian sex is a thing, because women's nonreproductive sex is not a threat to them). It is women controlling our own reproduction - not women talking themselves into having more sex in the name of "liberation" - that is where our power against patriarchy lies.

  17. 5 out of 5

    SHIP (formerly The CSPH)

    “Men in Love” is based on more than 3,000 responses (asked by Nancy Friday) with men discussing their sexual fantasies, desires and passions. In it she urged men to send her their sexual fantasies (“anonymity guaranteed”). The result? A deeper look into men’s psyche’s. It’s thought-provoking, arousing and for some people, contains unattractive fantasies. The wide range of fantasies explored in this book will guide every reader to a provocative point, urging them to expand upon what turns them on “Men in Love” is based on more than 3,000 responses (asked by Nancy Friday) with men discussing their sexual fantasies, desires and passions. In it she urged men to send her their sexual fantasies (“anonymity guaranteed”). The result? A deeper look into men’s psyche’s. It’s thought-provoking, arousing and for some people, contains unattractive fantasies. The wide range of fantasies explored in this book will guide every reader to a provocative point, urging them to expand upon what turns them on ….and what doesn’t. This book could be used to stimulate conversation with others about a behavior or fantasy you might like to explore, as a way to normalize thoughts you may hold, or as an erotic read. Of special note; The author, Nancy Friday, answered a few questions to People magazine in response to Men In Love. While the focus of these questions relate to fantasies and are not specific to men, she responds to questions frequently asked to sexuality professionals. What is the difference between our dreams and sexual fantasies? Dreams are the expression of the unconscious while we are asleep. Sexual fantasies are ideas, images, pictures in our mind while we are awake. They’re a combination of the unconscious and conscious. If people could begin to look at their sexual fantasies as easily as they accept their night dreams, we’d all be a lot healthier about our sexual identities. What is the benefit in recognizing sexual fantasies? After I wrote My Secret Garden, I began getting letters from women expressing gratitude. “Thank God you wrote that book,” they said. “I thought I was the only one.” Your sexual fantasies are one of the most valuable X-rays you’ll ever have. They provide a look at your sexual psyche. They can tell you so much about yourself.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Ana

    Well, that was... interesting. There's the sexy, the sweet, the heartwarming, the imaginative, the crazy, the kinky, the deranged and the downright illegal in about 500 pages. I try to keep an open mind, but that doesn't mean that I have to put up with more than I can, so understandably I skipped over some chapters (the amount of men fantasizing about doing their mothers or other female relatives is too damn high!). I haven't read Friday's books about female fantasies yet, but I expect I will fe Well, that was... interesting. There's the sexy, the sweet, the heartwarming, the imaginative, the crazy, the kinky, the deranged and the downright illegal in about 500 pages. I try to keep an open mind, but that doesn't mean that I have to put up with more than I can, so understandably I skipped over some chapters (the amount of men fantasizing about doing their mothers or other female relatives is too damn high!). I haven't read Friday's books about female fantasies yet, but I expect I will feel the same way. In the end, the book taught me nothing, and it was pretty repetitive most of the time. I was confused by the ease with which NF glosses over actual accounts of statutory rape, rape and incest. The most shocking fantasies were accompanied but what I thought to be fairly superficial comments, if any at all. Maybe that was the point of the book, I don't know. I guess fantasies are not intended to be judged; but when the so strongly reflect half the population's stance to something as vital as sex?? Strong bias, suprizing conclusions... Anyhow, the book is ok if you're lonely on a weekend and want to pretend you're doing something intellectual while keeping yourself company.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Melissa Johnson

    Okay, so a lady recommend that I read this book to understand the male psyche when it comes to lust, love and sex. It is a compilation of letters written to the author by men of all ages, backgrounds, etc. describing their fantasies as well as their sex lives. So it's kind of like reading educational erotica. Interesting indeed... Okay, so a lady recommend that I read this book to understand the male psyche when it comes to lust, love and sex. It is a compilation of letters written to the author by men of all ages, backgrounds, etc. describing their fantasies as well as their sex lives. So it's kind of like reading educational erotica. Interesting indeed...

  20. 5 out of 5

    R to the -izzo

    I read this one summer when I was in college. It is just a collection of men's fantasies. I thought that it was kind of interesting. It is broken down by genre. There is a chapter on exhibitionism, and threeways, etc. I read this one summer when I was in college. It is just a collection of men's fantasies. I thought that it was kind of interesting. It is broken down by genre. There is a chapter on exhibitionism, and threeways, etc.

  21. 5 out of 5

    mairywo

    Not as good as her books on female fantasies. I especially didn't really care for the S&M chapter. But overall it's still a very interesting and fascinating read. Not as good as her books on female fantasies. I especially didn't really care for the S&M chapter. But overall it's still a very interesting and fascinating read.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Donsancho2063

    Some of the responses to Male Fantasies is the reason why men watch porno or seek professionals to live out there fantasies.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Jasmine

    Mind blowing. At this point in my life it's hard to shock me but I found myself blushing in public frequently while reading this book. Available at a garage sale near you. Mind blowing. At this point in my life it's hard to shock me but I found myself blushing in public frequently while reading this book. Available at a garage sale near you.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Jadine

    interesting read, I wonder how much, if anything has changed in the last 30 years.....

  25. 5 out of 5

    sai

    Men in love covers a multitude of male fantasies from Oedipus complex, virginity to s&m, bisexuality along with the author's explanation of the psychological basis behind each of those fantasies. The fantasies described are in first person by various men. Though the author's explanations give the impression of being presumptuous at certain points, nancy tried to be objective in most cases and the book in overall is very riveting. If you are a reader that is easily put off by vivid descriptions o Men in love covers a multitude of male fantasies from Oedipus complex, virginity to s&m, bisexuality along with the author's explanation of the psychological basis behind each of those fantasies. The fantasies described are in first person by various men. Though the author's explanations give the impression of being presumptuous at certain points, nancy tried to be objective in most cases and the book in overall is very riveting. If you are a reader that is easily put off by vivid descriptions of sexual acts and if issues like Oedipus complex unsettle you, then I would not advise it. But if you want break out of that mold this book is a great beginner. I would rate it 3.5 stars if the option was available.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Amy Kat

    I like the concept and idea of the book. Nancy gives sex surveys to men and records the results. warning : there's some very disturbing material. After reading this book what can I say, I was completely disenchanted and disturbed about the general state of male sexuality. I like the concept and idea of the book. Nancy gives sex surveys to men and records the results. warning : there's some very disturbing material. After reading this book what can I say, I was completely disenchanted and disturbed about the general state of male sexuality.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Jo

    I have been going through my shelves to see what I want to keep and what I am going to swap/give away. I was young when I bought this, what can I say....

  28. 5 out of 5

    Ramona Silverwing

    Lovely written and sure helps to understand man a tiny bit better. Glad I found it.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Dennis

    I cannot lie, I read this after "My Secret Garden" and expected something as interesting as the female fantasies but I was disappointed. Really, I could do a lot better than these guys but I also think that there were two other factors: one is that a lot of this was familiar in my own head and the other is that since a lot of these fantasies were right out there in magazines, I thought they could have done better in finding something more interesting. I cannot lie, I read this after "My Secret Garden" and expected something as interesting as the female fantasies but I was disappointed. Really, I could do a lot better than these guys but I also think that there were two other factors: one is that a lot of this was familiar in my own head and the other is that since a lot of these fantasies were right out there in magazines, I thought they could have done better in finding something more interesting.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Stefaan Van ryssen

    Mainly boring but some interesting insights by the author. Dealing with rape and incest fantasies in a book called Men in Love is certainly a legerdemain. It rings more or less non-feminist. Not Anti but Non. Weird.

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