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I Live a Life Like Yours: A Memoir

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A quietly brilliant book that warms slowly in the hands. --Dwight Garner, The New York Times I am not talking about surviving. I am not talking about becoming human, but about how I came to realize that I had always already been human. I am writing about all that I wanted to have, and how I got it. I am writing about what it cost, and how I was able to afford it. Jan Grue w A quietly brilliant book that warms slowly in the hands. --Dwight Garner, The New York Times I am not talking about surviving. I am not talking about becoming human, but about how I came to realize that I had always already been human. I am writing about all that I wanted to have, and how I got it. I am writing about what it cost, and how I was able to afford it. Jan Grue was diagnosed with spinal muscular atrophy at the age of three. Shifting between specific periods of his life--his youth with his parents and sister in Norway; his years of study in Berkeley, St. Petersburg, and Amsterdam; and his current life as a professor, husband, and father--he intersperses these histories with elegant, astonishingly wise reflections on the world, social structures, disability, loss, relationships, and the body: in short, on what it means to be human. Along the way, Grue moves effortlessly between his own story and those of others, incorporating reflections on philosophy, film, art, and the work of writers from Joan Didion to Michael Foucault. He revives the cold, clinical language of his childhood, drawing from a stack of medical records that first forced the boy who thought of himself as "just Jan" to perceive that his body, and therefore his self, was defined by its defects. I Live a Life Like Yours is a love story. It is rich with loss, sorrow, and joy, and with the details of one life: a girlfriend pushing Grue through the airport and forgetting him next to the baggage claim; schoolmates forming a chain behind his wheelchair on the ice one winter day; his parents writing desperate letters in search of proper treatment for their son; his own young son climbing into his lap as he sits in his wheelchair, only to leap down and run away too quickly to catch. It is a story about accepting one's own body and limitations, and learning to love life as it is while remaining open to hope and discovery.


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A quietly brilliant book that warms slowly in the hands. --Dwight Garner, The New York Times I am not talking about surviving. I am not talking about becoming human, but about how I came to realize that I had always already been human. I am writing about all that I wanted to have, and how I got it. I am writing about what it cost, and how I was able to afford it. Jan Grue w A quietly brilliant book that warms slowly in the hands. --Dwight Garner, The New York Times I am not talking about surviving. I am not talking about becoming human, but about how I came to realize that I had always already been human. I am writing about all that I wanted to have, and how I got it. I am writing about what it cost, and how I was able to afford it. Jan Grue was diagnosed with spinal muscular atrophy at the age of three. Shifting between specific periods of his life--his youth with his parents and sister in Norway; his years of study in Berkeley, St. Petersburg, and Amsterdam; and his current life as a professor, husband, and father--he intersperses these histories with elegant, astonishingly wise reflections on the world, social structures, disability, loss, relationships, and the body: in short, on what it means to be human. Along the way, Grue moves effortlessly between his own story and those of others, incorporating reflections on philosophy, film, art, and the work of writers from Joan Didion to Michael Foucault. He revives the cold, clinical language of his childhood, drawing from a stack of medical records that first forced the boy who thought of himself as "just Jan" to perceive that his body, and therefore his self, was defined by its defects. I Live a Life Like Yours is a love story. It is rich with loss, sorrow, and joy, and with the details of one life: a girlfriend pushing Grue through the airport and forgetting him next to the baggage claim; schoolmates forming a chain behind his wheelchair on the ice one winter day; his parents writing desperate letters in search of proper treatment for their son; his own young son climbing into his lap as he sits in his wheelchair, only to leap down and run away too quickly to catch. It is a story about accepting one's own body and limitations, and learning to love life as it is while remaining open to hope and discovery.

30 review for I Live a Life Like Yours: A Memoir

  1. 4 out of 5

    Joanna

    Hvordan er det å leve et liv som ligner andres, men med den lille og enorme forskjellen at man bruker rullestol? Boken til Jan Grue står i en amerikansk, selvbiografisk tradisjon, og er en horisontutvidende fortelling om en tenkende manns liv fylt med utfordringer: tekniske, logistiske, filosofiske, emosjonelle. Boken bæres av en mild og klok fortellerstemme, setningene er perfekt skrudd til, perspektivene og referansene er unike. Jeg føler at jeg skjønner litt mer av noe jeg ikke har skjønt før Hvordan er det å leve et liv som ligner andres, men med den lille og enorme forskjellen at man bruker rullestol? Boken til Jan Grue står i en amerikansk, selvbiografisk tradisjon, og er en horisontutvidende fortelling om en tenkende manns liv fylt med utfordringer: tekniske, logistiske, filosofiske, emosjonelle. Boken bæres av en mild og klok fortellerstemme, setningene er perfekt skrudd til, perspektivene og referansene er unike. Jeg føler at jeg skjønner litt mer av noe jeg ikke har skjønt før.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Ingrid Petrine

    Jeg er overrasket over hvor godt jeg likte Jeg lever et liv som ligner deres. Jan Grue leser selv lydboken, og det var nok med på å løfte hele leseopplevelsen. Sitatene, rytmen, stilen - alt kommer til sin fulle rett i denne lydboken, som tilgjengeliggjør det utilgjengelige ved teksten. Jeg er faktisk ikke sikker på om jeg hadde kommet like godt inn i teksten dersom jeg hadde lest den på papir eller skjerm, noe jeg ser flere har slitt med. Grues formidlingsevne er fabelaktig, og den kler den nak Jeg er overrasket over hvor godt jeg likte Jeg lever et liv som ligner deres. Jan Grue leser selv lydboken, og det var nok med på å løfte hele leseopplevelsen. Sitatene, rytmen, stilen - alt kommer til sin fulle rett i denne lydboken, som tilgjengeliggjør det utilgjengelige ved teksten. Jeg er faktisk ikke sikker på om jeg hadde kommet like godt inn i teksten dersom jeg hadde lest den på papir eller skjerm, noe jeg ser flere har slitt med. Grues formidlingsevne er fabelaktig, og den kler den nakne og selvransakende historien han forteller. Jeg så noen andre bruke uttrykket "horisontutvidende" om denne boken, og det er så treffende at jeg vil låne det. Lurer du på hvilken lydbok du skal avslutte 2019 med, har du altså en glødende anbefaling her.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Elida (elidaleser)

    Eg ville gjerne like denne, men dessverre så klarer den ikkje å engasjere meg. Jan Grue er god akademisk og skriver godt, men i denne boka vil han for mykje. Han skriver både om seg sjølv, om livet med Ida Jackson, om alle turane med rullestol (som både fungerte og ikkje) og om alle tekstane han har lest om det å vera sårbar. Det er ingen kapittel-inndeling noko eg i utgangspunktet misliker sterkt, og når historiane kjem rotete og usamanhengande blir det bare rot for meg.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Rebecca

    My Shelf Awareness review: The University of Oslo professor was diagnosed with spinal muscular atrophy at age three and relies on an electric wheelchair. In his powerful, matter-of-fact memoir, he explores the struggles and stigma of disability. Soon after his son's birth, Grue found himself paging through his childhood medical records, marveling at the trials his parents faced. Despite leg braces and customized shoes, he was never going to be a "normal" boy, though he attended mainstream schools My Shelf Awareness review: The University of Oslo professor was diagnosed with spinal muscular atrophy at age three and relies on an electric wheelchair. In his powerful, matter-of-fact memoir, he explores the struggles and stigma of disability. Soon after his son's birth, Grue found himself paging through his childhood medical records, marveling at the trials his parents faced. Despite leg braces and customized shoes, he was never going to be a "normal" boy, though he attended mainstream schools. Earning a driver's license for a car with hand controls, he achieved independence. However, studying abroad was challenging in old-fashioned, canal-strewn St. Petersburg and Amsterdam, and even in Berkeley, Calif., where he was a Fulbright fellow, he wasn't guaranteed accessible housing. "This is how one becomes a problem: by pointing out a problem," Grue remarks. Much as he prefers to blend in quietly, at times he's forced to take up the role of a disability activist. Navigating airports, in particular, poses difficulties that require him to speak out. It takes two pages to describe the precise sequence of movements involved just in standing up from the sofa. By detailing such practicalities, the book elicits compassionate understanding. Grue alternates between his own story and others' (especially poet/journalist Mark O'Brien, who lived in an iron lung), doctors' reports and theorists' quotations, mingling the academic and the intimate. The fragments build to a deep meditation on the nature of memory and the body versus the self. (Posted with permission from Shelf Awareness.)

  5. 5 out of 5

    Hilde

    I read this book in one day. I had a day to myself in a foreign city, and walked from cafe to park bench to random flight of stairs. I sat down, read for an hour, felt a bit chilly or hungry, walked the shortest distance I could get away with, before sitting down and reading some more. Jan Grue has written a beautifully poignant and literally accomplished memoir about growing up with a disability. At the same time, he draws on his unique academic insights as an accomplished disability studies sc I read this book in one day. I had a day to myself in a foreign city, and walked from cafe to park bench to random flight of stairs. I sat down, read for an hour, felt a bit chilly or hungry, walked the shortest distance I could get away with, before sitting down and reading some more. Jan Grue has written a beautifully poignant and literally accomplished memoir about growing up with a disability. At the same time, he draws on his unique academic insights as an accomplished disability studies scholar to make his tale both deeply personal and highly thought provoking and politically relevant. There are so many different strengths to this book. The sections where he's reading his own medical journals from his childhood through the dual lens of his grown-up self and the detached scholar spurred me to think about the objectification of the patient in modern medicine in ways that I never did before. His reflections around the coexistence of his marginalisation as a person with a disability and his privilege as a child of resourceful and committed parents in the highly educated Norwegian (upper) middle class add depth and perspective and challenges some common tropes about the high achieving disabled person. You can read this book as a memoir. You can read it as an insight into growing up with a disability. You can read it as a thoughtful and mild-mannered call to political action. Whatever, as long as you read it!

  6. 5 out of 5

    Ylva Østby

    This memoir is a profound reading experience - and a life experience captured on paper. Reading this made me aware not only of Jan Grue's experience with the world, and how similar and different it is all at once, but also of our interconnectedness with our environment in general. Read it! You won't regret!! This memoir is a profound reading experience - and a life experience captured on paper. Reading this made me aware not only of Jan Grue's experience with the world, and how similar and different it is all at once, but also of our interconnectedness with our environment in general. Read it! You won't regret!!

  7. 5 out of 5

    Zibby Owens

    This book is about the author who was diagnosed with a genetic disorder called Spinal Muscular Atrophy, and the man he grows to defies not only his early diagnosis but the very definition of being disabled. While he shares stories of his life, he intersperses thoughts about his disability and how the diagnosis affected his life. What’s particularly notable about the book is how the trajectory of the author’s life is changed by the initial diagnosis that would have had him unable to walk by twent This book is about the author who was diagnosed with a genetic disorder called Spinal Muscular Atrophy, and the man he grows to defies not only his early diagnosis but the very definition of being disabled. While he shares stories of his life, he intersperses thoughts about his disability and how the diagnosis affected his life. What’s particularly notable about the book is how the trajectory of the author’s life is changed by the initial diagnosis that would have had him unable to walk by twenty. That diagnosis was wrong, so there’s a beautiful resonance for all of us about what we believe is true and how that alters our lives accordingly. This author is such a beautiful writer. The prose, the way he writes, is so poetic and lyrical. I was impressed and riveted by his writing style, not to mention his amazing story about accepting one's own body and limitations in the face of a disability. One great quote from the book is about time. The author writes, “I cannot hurry. This is a sobering bit of evidence in my case and a crucial factor, a gigantic boulder in the middle of the road. I cannot hurry to the subway because my wheelchair can only go the speed that it goes. I cannot run. If I leave five minutes late from my home, I will arrive five minutes late at my destination. I cannot hurry to the bathroom. If I try to walk faster than my normal speed, I trip and fall. Time is inelastic. I require the time that I require." To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at: https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/jan...

  8. 5 out of 5

    Synne

    Satte ord på opplevelser jeg ikke hadde begrep for. Sterk.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Olav Nilsen

    Fin bok om det å være menneske

  10. 5 out of 5

    Kathy Joakimsen

    3.5

  11. 5 out of 5

    Bjørg (mellom linjene)

    Denne boka her, altså! Jeg lever et liv som ligner på deres av Jan Grue er ein utruleg sterk tekst. Jan Grue har ein medfødt muskelsjukdom, som gjer at han er heilt avhengig av den elektriske rullestolen sin og ei rekke andre hjelpemidler. I kontrast til bølgja av romaner i grenseland mellom fakta og fiksjon, er denne boka lansert som sakprosa. Det er likevel ei biografisk bok, med eit sterkt essayistisk preg. Jan Grue er som alle andre og samtidig har han ein kropp som gjer at han er annleis en Denne boka her, altså! Jeg lever et liv som ligner på deres av Jan Grue er ein utruleg sterk tekst. Jan Grue har ein medfødt muskelsjukdom, som gjer at han er heilt avhengig av den elektriske rullestolen sin og ei rekke andre hjelpemidler. I kontrast til bølgja av romaner i grenseland mellom fakta og fiksjon, er denne boka lansert som sakprosa. Det er likevel ei biografisk bok, med eit sterkt essayistisk preg. Jan Grue er som alle andre og samtidig har han ein kropp som gjer at han er annleis enn alle andre. Han skriv om utenforskap og lengsle etter å leve det same livet som andre barn, tenåringer, studentar og småbarnsforeldre. Og samtidig skriv han om å ha ein kropp som er annleis. Han skriv om korleis rullestolen er ei forlenging av kroppen og om korleis grensene mellom kropp og hjelpemiddel blir viska bort og blir uklare. Han skriv om blikka som betraktar han, om korleis han er synleg og om det å bli sett og vurdert med eit klinisk blikk. Sjølv om mi sjukdomshistorie er veldig ulik Jan Grue si, er det mykje eg kan relatere til. Særleg det som handler bli betrakta med eit klinisk blikk og det å ville ein normalitet som ein ikkje har kapasitet til, kan eg relatere til. Og innimellom får eg vondt i magen og tårer i augene, fordi eg kjenner meg så sterkt igjen i Grue sitt språk. Dette er ei bok som fortener eit skikkelig blogginnlegg. Men i første omgang nøyer eg meg med ei sterk tilråding her: Denne boka burde alle lese! Boka er eit leseeksemplar som eg har fått frå @gyldendal_no . Det gjer ho ikkje mindre god! .

  12. 5 out of 5

    Cate Triola

    This quotation is from an unpublished proof, so it may look different after publication, but I found it really moving, and I think it captures Grue's writing very well. "I cannot rid myself of grief over the body that was not. Psychiatry keeps setting tighter limits on when grief stops being healthy and starts to become pathological, six months, three months, four weeks, grief becomes a sickness and sickness is something you are supposed to recover from. But grief is not like that, deep grief can This quotation is from an unpublished proof, so it may look different after publication, but I found it really moving, and I think it captures Grue's writing very well. "I cannot rid myself of grief over the body that was not. Psychiatry keeps setting tighter limits on when grief stops being healthy and starts to become pathological, six months, three months, four weeks, grief becomes a sickness and sickness is something you are supposed to recover from. But grief is not like that, deep grief can last an entire lifetime, mine does. It’s not the kind that tears me to pieces. It is a part of me. To live with it is to acknowledge that it exists and will continue to exist." (247-248)

  13. 5 out of 5

    Marit

    En vakker bok, som gir et innblikk i hvordan det er å være en del av et samfunn, som ikke alltid ser på deg som en del av seg selv! - A beautiful book which gives you insight in how it is to be a part of a society that doesn't always consider you as a part of itself. En vakker bok, som gir et innblikk i hvordan det er å være en del av et samfunn, som ikke alltid ser på deg som en del av seg selv! - A beautiful book which gives you insight in how it is to be a part of a society that doesn't always consider you as a part of itself.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Jennifer White

    Jan Grue's book provides a window into life with a progressive, genetic disease that has rendered him weak and almost entirely reliant on his electric wheelchair. He is very articulate in describing his condition, leading me to self-reflect on the luck of having a healthy body and glimpse the world through my son's eyes, my son who has a similar, though less severe condition. Of his disease he says, "If a diagnosis describes a progressive condition, it can also be a source of unease. It conjures Jan Grue's book provides a window into life with a progressive, genetic disease that has rendered him weak and almost entirely reliant on his electric wheelchair. He is very articulate in describing his condition, leading me to self-reflect on the luck of having a healthy body and glimpse the world through my son's eyes, my son who has a similar, though less severe condition. Of his disease he says, "If a diagnosis describes a progressive condition, it can also be a source of unease. It conjures images of the future. It is a road map to a place you don't want to visit" (150). The concept of progressive is tough to deal with. It leaves so much uncertainty, especially when doctors, like Grue's doctors, expected him dead by his twenties rather than an accomplished professor and writer. Grue shows us how everyday tasks we take for granted are difficult. He writes of the planning it takes just in getting off of the sofa by himself. His wife calls him a "top-level athlete" (172). He describes his sport as an "average day...every trip from the sofa to the kitchen is a sprint, a dead-lift, a marathon" (172). Grue also discusses the headaches of traveling with a wheelchair, of the weight of his motorized wheelchair, of waiting after landing for wheelchair assistance. He writes about missing the birth of his son because his wheelchair would not fit in his wife's hospital room. Overall, his book also serves to critique both the lack of accessibility in Norway but also the mechanical way he is treated by social services and his doctors, as if he is not human. This is an important work.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Ronny Kjelsberg

    Jeg hadde bare lest noen Morgenbladet-essays av Grue før jeg snublet over denne lille boken i Ebokbib-appen, og siden den hadde fått svært positiv omtale lastet jeg den ned. Grue får meg alltid til å føle meg litt lite belest. Det er tett med referanser til tenkere som jeg gjennomgående har tenkt jeg burde lest mer av, men som jeg primært har lest om. Men Grue kan heldigvis gi meg en kjapp innføring. Så glir det politiske, kulturelle, vitenskapelige og personlige relativt friksjonsfritt inn i hv Jeg hadde bare lest noen Morgenbladet-essays av Grue før jeg snublet over denne lille boken i Ebokbib-appen, og siden den hadde fått svært positiv omtale lastet jeg den ned. Grue får meg alltid til å føle meg litt lite belest. Det er tett med referanser til tenkere som jeg gjennomgående har tenkt jeg burde lest mer av, men som jeg primært har lest om. Men Grue kan heldigvis gi meg en kjapp innføring. Så glir det politiske, kulturelle, vitenskapelige og personlige relativt friksjonsfritt inn i hverandre gjennom hele boken. Slik som i livet kanskje? Det er vel sakprosa og en slags delvis selvbiografi, men språket holder litterære kvaliteter så det blir noe negativ-Knausgårdsk over prosjektet. Og det fungerer. Jeg lar meg i hvertfall innbille at jeg har fått et lite innblikk i hvordan det er å leve et liv som ligner mitt, men bare ligner. Og det er ikke så verst bare det.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Pål Berg

    En utrolig flott bok og sterk leseopplevelse. Egentlig en utrolig utleverende selvbiografisk tekst, der Jan Grue blottstiller seg, både mentalt og fysisk. En bok om både levd og ulevd liv; om alle de rom Grue ikke fikk adgang til, men samtidig også om de rom han ble spart for. Hovedspørsmålet kan sies å være et av de mest grunnleggende i filosofihistorien: hva er et menneske? Språket i boka er nok så akademisk, men flyter likevel fint og gir en anstrengt leseopplevelse. Anbefales på det varmeste En utrolig flott bok og sterk leseopplevelse. Egentlig en utrolig utleverende selvbiografisk tekst, der Jan Grue blottstiller seg, både mentalt og fysisk. En bok om både levd og ulevd liv; om alle de rom Grue ikke fikk adgang til, men samtidig også om de rom han ble spart for. Hovedspørsmålet kan sies å være et av de mest grunnleggende i filosofihistorien: hva er et menneske? Språket i boka er nok så akademisk, men flyter likevel fint og gir en anstrengt leseopplevelse. Anbefales på det varmeste.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Geir Tønnessen

    En akademiker deler et reflektert og mørkt innblikk i hvordan livet som handicapet oppleves. Et vondt og sørgmodig bilde av hvordan det er å føle seg stigmatisert. Om hvordan folk forhåndsdømmer bare på grunn av en annerledes kropp og en rullestol. Jeg vil takke Grue for dette ærlige innblikket. Men hvor er selvironien, må en ikke ha litt humor for å klare og leve et så krevende liv.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Maria

    Dette er en mesterlig skrevet bok om å leve et liv i rullestol (Jan Grue har et av de beste språkene jeg har lest i en norsk roman på veldig lenge). Men den er så mye mer. Alle som har funksjonshindringer, alle som sitter i rullestol, alle som må bruke krykker eller stokk, alle som er synlig eller "usynlig" syke, alle som har noe som hindrer det "normale" liv. Ikke minst alle som kjenner noen av disse. Les! Denne boka har truffet meg sånn at jeg fortsatt skjelver nå når jeg lukker den. Dette er en mesterlig skrevet bok om å leve et liv i rullestol (Jan Grue har et av de beste språkene jeg har lest i en norsk roman på veldig lenge). Men den er så mye mer. Alle som har funksjonshindringer, alle som sitter i rullestol, alle som må bruke krykker eller stokk, alle som er synlig eller "usynlig" syke, alle som har noe som hindrer det "normale" liv. Ikke minst alle som kjenner noen av disse. Les! Denne boka har truffet meg sånn at jeg fortsatt skjelver nå når jeg lukker den.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Sandra The Old Woman in a Van

    A short and worthy memoir. I was especially struck by the authors description of his son’s birth and the ways it changed his perspective. There is a lot in here that everyone would benefit from listening to, but I think teachers and other service people would especially benefit from it.

  20. 4 out of 5

    K

    En fabelaktig bok, ekstremt velskrevet, interessant og rørende.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Trude Myhre

    You need to read this!

  22. 5 out of 5

    Tarjei Vågstøl

    Jan Grue er veldig flink til å skriva. Det visste eg for så vidt frå før. Alt på tittelsida skjønar ein at ingenting er tilfeldig i denne boka. "Jeg lever et liv som ligner deres" spelar på at pronomenet "deres" kan syna til både andre og tredjeperson fleirtal på bokmål. Vi finn att setninga tidleg i boka, der han reflekterer over at livet han lever, liknar på foreldra sine. Men det er tydeleg at det også er det korte svaret på eit tenkt (og erfart) spørsmål: korleis er det å vera deg, Jan Grue. D Jan Grue er veldig flink til å skriva. Det visste eg for så vidt frå før. Alt på tittelsida skjønar ein at ingenting er tilfeldig i denne boka. "Jeg lever et liv som ligner deres" spelar på at pronomenet "deres" kan syna til både andre og tredjeperson fleirtal på bokmål. Vi finn att setninga tidleg i boka, der han reflekterer over at livet han lever, liknar på foreldra sine. Men det er tydeleg at det også er det korte svaret på eit tenkt (og erfart) spørsmål: korleis er det å vera deg, Jan Grue. Den raude tråden i boka er korleis Grue voks opp og vart vaksen, far og (ikkje minst) ung stjerneskot-professor med ein kropp som krev at han nyttar rullestol for å koma seg rundt. Ho handlar om korleis samfunnet skapar funksjonshemmingar (med California og Russland som to ytterpunkt), og korleis det norske "hjelpeapparatet", trass i at det hjelper, også skapar utanforskap. Sjølve forma på boka er på alle måtar essayistisk, utforskande og subjektiv. Grue skriv med same sikkerheit som han alltid gjer, presist og drøftande, og dersom du som lesar byrjar å tenkja, "men kva med ...", så kan du vera sikker på at tek dette opp alt i neste avsnitt. Boka vert rosa opp i skyene overalt eg ser. Eg har ingenting å innvenda mot dette. Det einaste eg kanskje sakna, var at når Grue skriv om rullestolen som stigma (med referansar til Goffmann), så minner den utanforskapen han skildrar veldig mykje på det Arne Garborg skildra i Bondestudentar. Det er ei kopling eg gjerne skulle sett at han drøfta: i kor stor grad kan fysiske funksjonshemmingar samanliknast med andre former for utanforskap.

  23. 4 out of 5

    Anna-Klara Aronsson

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Fast jag läste den på svenska, och igår, inte i dag. Och jag borde egentligen kanske inte läst den eftersom mitt motiv går emot bokens budskap eller innehåll som jag uppfattar den. Jag är en sån som läser typ "snyftiga" eller "hemska" eller dramatiska biografier. ... när nån fick cancer, när någons mamma låste in dom, när någon satt i Thailändskt fängelse. Eller när nån då typ har en svår sjukdom och känner sig utanför. Och Grues bok är när jag läser den precis motsatsen. Han är inte ute efter nån s Fast jag läste den på svenska, och igår, inte i dag. Och jag borde egentligen kanske inte läst den eftersom mitt motiv går emot bokens budskap eller innehåll som jag uppfattar den. Jag är en sån som läser typ "snyftiga" eller "hemska" eller dramatiska biografier. ... när nån fick cancer, när någons mamma låste in dom, när någon satt i Thailändskt fängelse. Eller när nån då typ har en svår sjukdom och känner sig utanför. Och Grues bok är när jag läser den precis motsatsen. Han är inte ute efter nån sensationshistoria. Tvärtom. Grue är akademiker, författare, make, pappa mm. Och har en muskelsjukdom som på många sätt påverkat hela hans liv. Hans memoar är kort, precis, akademisk och med små nedslag och exempel hur hans liv. Jag kan inte sammanfatta den. Det är mer som olika betraktelser om vad som gör en människa än en traditionell memoar. Den är lättläst rent teknisk, men man kan läsa den mycket långsamt och fundera. Det är mycket att tänka på. Jag ser att några som läst den på norska tycker att texten är svår att komma in i. För mig blir det tvärt om. Jag gillar att det är luftigt, hoppar mellan olika tider och mellan hans egna tankar och andras, eller journalutdrag. Det är absolut ingen linjär berättelse. Mer som att man som läsare bjuds in i Grues hjärna. Lite som att han sitter och berättar lite ofokuserat för mig. Såå när jag skriver att den är "lätt" att läsa så är det tydligen helt subjektivt Jag tror inte jag kan "recensera" den. Läs den bara. Läs den i nån boklubb. Eller i biblioterapi. Eller bara läs den.

  24. 5 out of 5

    kglibrarian (Karin Greenberg)

    There are too few books focusing on people with disabilities. When I was in library school about five years ago, two of my classmates wrote a thesis on the representation of characters with disabilities and found the genre to be lacking. So I’m always happy when I find a great book, fiction or nonfiction, that highlights a person with a disability. Jan Grue’s memoir, translated from Norwegian, is an inspiring, riveting account of his life and the way his health has informed his decisions and out There are too few books focusing on people with disabilities. When I was in library school about five years ago, two of my classmates wrote a thesis on the representation of characters with disabilities and found the genre to be lacking. So I’m always happy when I find a great book, fiction or nonfiction, that highlights a person with a disability. Jan Grue’s memoir, translated from Norwegian, is an inspiring, riveting account of his life and the way his health has informed his decisions and outlooks. Grue was born with muscular atrophy, and though he grew up thinking his life was not that atypical, he finds out once he becomes an adult that people around him believed that his days were limited and that his life would be cut short as a result of his condition. It’s only after his parents give him the files documenting his life, including doctor’s appointments, surgeries, and prognoses, that he realizes how sheltered he had been. Grue acknowledges his privilege and is grateful for the opportunities he has had, such as going to good schools and receiving health care, but is also baffled that his view of his life differed so drastically from that of teachers, friends, and acquaintances. Throughout the memoir, Grue inserts stimulating quotes from intellectuals, philosophers and others. He ponders the deeper meaning of existence and works through his feelings about himself and his body. In addition to the details of his medical experiences, he dives into his romantic life, cataloging his relationship with his wife and young son. Written in short paragraphs, the prose is accessible and concise, making the narrative flow quickly and easily. This is one of those books that left me feeling like a different person. No matter how much I may have known about people with specific disabilities, I connected to Grue’s personal journey in a way that was possible because of his open, honest dialogue.

  25. 5 out of 5

    June Adomaityte

    En smertefull bok. Det var som om jeg leste ordene gjennom en hinne av smerte. Fikk meg til å tenke om det å akseptere en situasjon gjør at smerten forsvinner. Det gjør den visst ikke. Men kanskje blander jeg smerte med sorg? Sorg innebærer smerte, smerte er bare et symptom. Jeg har lest i en annen bok at sorg heler, får såret etter tapte illusjoner og knuste drømmer til å gro igjen. Å leve med sorg hele livet... Det er jo endeløs smerte, er det ikke? Så hva er forskjellen? Jeg prøvde å innleve m En smertefull bok. Det var som om jeg leste ordene gjennom en hinne av smerte. Fikk meg til å tenke om det å akseptere en situasjon gjør at smerten forsvinner. Det gjør den visst ikke. Men kanskje blander jeg smerte med sorg? Sorg innebærer smerte, smerte er bare et symptom. Jeg har lest i en annen bok at sorg heler, får såret etter tapte illusjoner og knuste drømmer til å gro igjen. Å leve med sorg hele livet... Det er jo endeløs smerte, er det ikke? Så hva er forskjellen? Jeg prøvde å innleve meg i forfatterens situasjon - som ikke var så vanskelig siden boka er godt skrevet - men jeg begynte også tenke på min egen situasjon, som på noen måter ikke er så forskjellig, I daresay. En overdrivelse? Det er i hvert fall ikke min hensikt å overdrive. Det jeg vil si er at også i mitt liv, og sikkert i mange andres, finnes det ting jeg skulle ønske var annerledes, men jeg kan ikke forandre dem. Da jeg var liten leste jeg eventyr og trodde på at jeg kan bli hvem som helst, og at jeg kommer til å leve lykkelig alle mine dager. Problemet er at jeg tror det fremdeles til tross for at fakta sier noe annet. Og det er vanskelig å akseptere at livet ikke er slikt som i eventyr fordi jeg greier ikke tro på det. Mange gode sitater.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Judy G

    Diffficult to write about this very personal story by Jan Grue published in Norway and won awards in 2018 and just recently english translation. The honesty and straightforward thinking and writing by this young man it blows me away far away. Jan Grue has had from childhood a muscular damage atrophy not sure what actually is his diagnosis. He speaks as someone who couldnt do what a child should do wants to do run stretch and he is able to walk and there is here one description of how he gets up Diffficult to write about this very personal story by Jan Grue published in Norway and won awards in 2018 and just recently english translation. The honesty and straightforward thinking and writing by this young man it blows me away far away. Jan Grue has had from childhood a muscular damage atrophy not sure what actually is his diagnosis. He speaks as someone who couldnt do what a child should do wants to do run stretch and he is able to walk and there is here one description of how he gets up from chair with his wife to get water. Jan is a Professor (not sure what subject)a husband a father a son a friend a writer. He has manual and electric wheelchair. He lets readers know about the life of this man and it is all said all written. He regrets his regrets are that the world doesnt allow for someone like him doesnt allow for the wheelchair and so he has taken these years to write about being him being himself and being him and being himself in the world as it is. He has traveled and studied at UC Berkeley for a year and really liked California (where I live). He talks about being a father and his very young son who can run. This book should give each reader an opportunity to be more conscious Judy g

  27. 5 out of 5

    Diane

    I Live a Life Like Yours is Jan Grue’s story of living with spinal muscular atrophy. His book is much less about the physical disease than it is about the mental effort required to live every day with the constant need to plan every move. His description of air travel exhausted me. He requires his own heavy duty wheelchair that can only fly in cargo. He is thus reliant on airport manual wheelchairs to board and deplane—wheelchairs that he lacks the muscle power to operate on his own. Once back in I Live a Life Like Yours is Jan Grue’s story of living with spinal muscular atrophy. His book is much less about the physical disease than it is about the mental effort required to live every day with the constant need to plan every move. His description of air travel exhausted me. He requires his own heavy duty wheelchair that can only fly in cargo. He is thus reliant on airport manual wheelchairs to board and deplane—wheelchairs that he lacks the muscle power to operate on his own. Once back in his personal wheelchair, he must find airport trams/shuttles, and taxis that can accommodate him. The experience is rarely seamless. His is not a story of complaint, but it is surely one that educates. He is married with a child—a child he could not see born by Caesarean because his wheelchair could not be sufficiently sanitized to allow him in the room. He couldn’t even taxi to the hospital with his wife because his need to wait for a wheelchair-worthy taxi could have put her and the baby at risk. His young son learns to pull up on Jan’s lap, since father lacks the arm power to lift son. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. That’s what this book is about—the will.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Stephanie

    Her var det mye å elske, men med litt lite følelser? Jeg kan tenke meg at man hardner litt av å leve i det, og han beskriver jo også hvordan kona blir kjempe oppgitt i situasjoner som er normale for han selv - som behandlingen på reise. Men jeg synes han virket litt frakoblet, eller kanskje bare herdet? Det er uansett en tankevekker om samfunnet som helhet, mangelen på mangfold eller iallfall tilretteleggingen for mangfoldet. Nå har vi jo mye bedre forhold her i Norge enn mange andre steder i ver Her var det mye å elske, men med litt lite følelser? Jeg kan tenke meg at man hardner litt av å leve i det, og han beskriver jo også hvordan kona blir kjempe oppgitt i situasjoner som er normale for han selv - som behandlingen på reise. Men jeg synes han virket litt frakoblet, eller kanskje bare herdet? Det er uansett en tankevekker om samfunnet som helhet, mangelen på mangfold eller iallfall tilretteleggingen for mangfoldet. Nå har vi jo mye bedre forhold her i Norge enn mange andre steder i verden. Jeg likte spesielt dette at han virket så fri, han har reist masse, studert verden rundt og ikke latt hans fysiske begrensinger sette en stoppe for hva han gjøre og oppnå. Også har jeg kanskje lært litt om at en rullestol ikke bare er en rullestol, noe jeg helt ærlig aldri har tenkt noe særlig over.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Toril Johansson

    Å være funksjonshemme er hardt arbeid. Grue viser en del av det som har gjort hans vei mulig. Akademiske foreldre som gjorde alt for å legge til rette og sørge for at skole og helsevesen gjorde det samme. Gode evner, et velferdssamfunn, men også familieøkonomi er viktig. Ikke alle ville hatt disse mulighetene reflekterer han over. Skammen over å ikke være som andre, den gradvise aksepten for egne begrensninger og viljen til å utforske egne muligheter står sentralt. Barnets behov for ikke å assos Å være funksjonshemme er hardt arbeid. Grue viser en del av det som har gjort hans vei mulig. Akademiske foreldre som gjorde alt for å legge til rette og sørge for at skole og helsevesen gjorde det samme. Gode evner, et velferdssamfunn, men også familieøkonomi er viktig. Ikke alle ville hatt disse mulighetene reflekterer han over. Skammen over å ikke være som andre, den gradvise aksepten for egne begrensninger og viljen til å utforske egne muligheter står sentralt. Barnets behov for ikke å assosieres med de andre, de som sikler og ikke kan oppføre seg. Krenkelsene er mange samtidig som han ser at det han opplever som krenkelser ofte er gjort i beste mening. Han skriver på en måte som treffer meg på et følelsesmessig plan. Altså ikke som ren sakprosa.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Karen K - Ohio

    The author is a Professor of Qualitative Research at the University of Oslo, Norway. He was diagnosed with spinal muscular atrophy at the age of three. This memoir is a collection of essays reflecting his life, jumping from his childhood, young adulthood and his current life as a husband and father. He writes beautifully and masterfully describes living disabled. Some of the phrases he uses like “the institutional and clinical gaze” captures the imagination perfectly. It seems this memoir was in The author is a Professor of Qualitative Research at the University of Oslo, Norway. He was diagnosed with spinal muscular atrophy at the age of three. This memoir is a collection of essays reflecting his life, jumping from his childhood, young adulthood and his current life as a husband and father. He writes beautifully and masterfully describes living disabled. Some of the phrases he uses like “the institutional and clinical gaze” captures the imagination perfectly. It seems this memoir was in part inspired by Mark O’Brian’s autobiography, How I Became a Human Being: A Disabled Man’s Quest for Independence.

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